My last night in the mission field, all the missionaries who were leaving ate dinner and stayed the night in the mission home. The last time I had slept in the mission home prior to that night was my first night in Ukraine.
I remember looking out of the window and having a very surreal feeling. That night was my last one as a full-fledged missionary (my parents picked me up and they arrived the next day). I remember writing in my journal something like this (I don't have my journal with me right now so I can't say exactly what I wrote but this is close)- I can't sleep. I am sitting here, looking out of the mission home window, with eyes of wonder, trying to imagine how the last two years went by so fast and realizing how much I've changed.
There are times in each of our lives when I think we look around with eyes of wonder, being amazed at how we arrived wherever we are at. I find myself in that position right now. I look out of my window, right now, with eyes of wonder.
So I originally wrote this for an article in the University of Utah's Daily Chronicle but they decided to push it back a few weeks so I decided to post it here instead...lucky you, enjoy:
I knew I had this guest column due just a couple of days after I arrived to complete my internship in Brussels, Belgium. I was hoping that something really funny, odd, or exciting happened along the way so that I could share it with everyone who happens to read this, but, I am sorry to report that the plane didn’t go down, air marshals were not deployed mid-flight, and I didn’t even get to experience the enhanced pat downs as I went through security.
About the most exciting thing to happen through most of the trip was that as I was boarding one of my flights, I accidentally rammed a guy with my carry-on baggage. If he happens to be reading this, I am sorry again. (I won’t mention the fact that you were flying first class so getting your foot ran over by my carry on bag couldn’t have been that big of an inconvenience…could it?)
On my flight from Salt Lake to Atlanta, the plane had seatback TVs and I didn’t figure out until about an hour before we landed that I could access more than just the in-flight programs they offered. Somehow, this happened to be one of the best parts of the trip. I ended up watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother and, don’t mock, but it spoke to me.
Since this was the first time I had ever seen the show, I don’t remember the characters names so you are going to have to bear with me. Two of the characters decided to get married and set the date for a short two months away and the future bride was going a little bit bridezilla as they were trying to get everything selected and organized. Finding a band created a dilemma because the bride wouldn’t sign off on the band until she heard them play and was sure the band could play their “song”.
As luck would have it in sit-com world, the only way for her to hear the band was to attend a local high school’s prom where the band was playing. To get in, she and one of her friends asked/forced two kids without dates to take them. Throughout the night, she had flashbacks of her own high school prom, break-up with her boyfriend at the prom, and first year of college where she met her now fiancé.
I’ve got my own high school prom stories, but the part that really seemed to strike a chord with me was when she had a flashback to her first day at college. She was, like many of us I would imagine, an idealistic freshman with hopes of traveling Europe and getting out on her own. She was excited about learning and just knew that she was going to change the world. Now, in hindsight, she hadn’t accomplished what she had set out to do, at least she thought.
I think that we all have visions of grandeur when we first enter college and that’s a good thing. It’s good to be idealistic, it’s good to set goals, and it’s good to have dreams. The problem is we often define ourselves by what we haven’t accomplished instead of what we have. So while I didn’t get the crazy European story (yet) on my flight over, I learned to enjoy the moment I am in and appreciate what I did get to experience. Here’s to hoping that the next three months will be just as fulfilling.
My parents gave me the Hunger Games Trilogy for Christmas and I was immediately obsessed with the books. I have since read them all the way through twice (okay so I have a lot of free time on my hands while I am not working and going to school- don't judge; One commandment of college is, "Thou shalt not read that which is not assigned".) and there were a lot of things I thought about as I was reading. I don't know if it is that I lack the time to read for enjoyment while I am in school or if they were just that good, but the books really touched a nerve with me.
*Spoiler Alert* If you have not read the books, want to read the books, and don't want the plot spoiled, don't read on because I am going to cover all three books.
First off, let me say that I actually really enjoyed MockingJay (the third book) and the way the trilogy ended. I heard from a lot of people that the books got continually worse as the trilogy went on and that there were a lot of loose ends but I didn't think that was the case at all. So in order to organize my thoughts about the books, I kind of broke the series down into some major themes- I am a NERD and fully embrace that fact.
Unrequited Love
Throughout the whole series there is a theme of love and who loves and is in love with whom. Does Katniss really love Gale or Peeta? Is she just using Peeta because it gives her an advantage in the Hunger Games? Are Gale and Katniss more than just friends?
I don't have all that much experience in the ole' love category but I do know what it is to like (I am saying like even though some would say I was in love...just seems too strong to me) someone and not have them like you back. There was a girl (who will remain nameless...I know, I know, you are all DYING to know who it is) who I crushed on for about the last year. She wasn't around, as in she wasn't living in the area, so I think I could idealize her in a way that I would not have been able to had she been around. Finally, when she stopped responding to any form of contact, I dropped her and by that I mean I deleted her as a friend on facebook.com (oh yea, I meant business- unfriended her just like that!). The problem is that all my relationships since don't live up to this idealized standard of a girl who didn't even like me anyway.
I am sure everyone has stories like that but in the Hunger Games it seemed like every time Katniss was snuggling up to Peeta in the arena, she couldn't quite give-in completely because there was this idealized form of Gale who was conveniently not in the picture who she could hold onto and the same was true with Gale. When Peeta and Katniss finally get together at the end, I was pleased because it was Peeta who followed Katniss. I mean, he went out to District 12 and chose to follow Katniss. What did Gale do? Oh, he ran away to District 2.
There is a Katy Perry song (and for the record I love me some Katy Perry- again, don't judge) which I think sums up what I think was going on in Katniss's mind throughout the trilogy. Don't worry, this video is nothing like her California Gurls one.
Consequences of War
Sometimes I think we forget about the consequences war has for the individual. History tends to write the stories of "war" from a Macro level. This country agreed to this armistice and this leader signed this treaty, but what about the regular people? What are their stories? I think we get a glimpse of this in The Hunger Games. We especially see this in the life of Katniss. She is forced to participate in the games themselves which is a result of an uprising with which she had no part and then is forced/chooses to be the face of the rebellion near the end of the books. She has nightmares, her relationships and feelings are all tainted, and close friends and family members die which leaves her feeling guilty. A poignant moment near the end was as Katniss and the others were coming from the bowels of the Capitol and they end up coming out into an apartment and surprising the lady who lived there. Katniss shoots the lady without a second thought. Who was this lady? Was she against the rebellion? It's interesting to me that Katniss could so easily shoot this lady but be disgusted with the way District 13 treated her Prep Team even though they all are Capitol citizens. Is this what war does to the individual?
Materialism
I think that the book may, in addition to the other themes, be a commentary on rampant materialism. The Capitol citizens are obsessed with youth, being thin, the latest fashions, the best foods, and many are in extreme debt as a result (that's why some become Peacekeepers). When Peeta and Katniss are finishing up their victory tour, they attend a party which has all of the best foods. They stuff themselves and still have not tried all the delicacies when Katniss' prep team let them know about the little glass vials that make a person throw up so that they can keep eating. Katniss and Peeta are abhorred about the thought of binging and purging all while there are people throughout the country and in District 12 who are literally starving.
Then there are the people who have had a little too much work done. Tigris has had her face pulled so tight and altered to such an extent that her appearance is even hideous to Capitol citizens used to such "alterations". It reminds me of a lady named Jocelyn Wildenstein (I had to Google her, but I remember hearing about her somewhere- probably VH1 best and worst plastic surgeries or something like that). She looks like this:
Yes, she has crossed the line, but so did Tigris. Yet, people all the time have a little nip here, tuck there, enhancement everywhere and really we don't think twice about it and in fact often celebrate it. I have a good friend who, as part of her Master and PhD studies, has looked at the false body images the media throws at us. In addition to the plastic surgery craze, photos are still altered in such a way so as to create these unattainable body images. For more information about their work on "Beauty Redefined", look here.
Death
Death is a part of everyone's life and is something which we all must ultimately come to terms with. For Katniss death struck at a particularly young age with her father dying and it's a common occurrence throughout the books. I think that death is so scary because of the unknown. I mean, it's not as if there is any shortage of beliefs about death and I certainly believe there is an after-life but still, not knowing the details of when, how, and how come bring some measure of consternation. In the book, Rue's death was the one that affected me the most for some reason. Even more than Prim's death. Rue died right at a time when Katniss was the most vulnerable, right in the middle of the games. It's weird because in the Harry Potter books, of all the deaths that occurred, Dobby's death was the saddest for me. I think that part of it is because they die after doing something valiant or important. Rue died right after helping Katniss blow up the career's supply. I think that if I could choose the manner in which I died, it would either be in my sleep when I am old and gray or doing something valiant to help/save someone else.
Well, this turned out to be a lot longer of a post than I originally intended and I still didn't talk about the idea of Power in the book. Maybe, I'll talk about it later.
(The view from my window right now)
